"La Cucaracha"

You know the song "La Cucaracha?" I did some research, and evidently the original version is believed to go like this:
"La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
Ya no puede caminar;
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marihuana que fumar."
English
"The cockroach, the cockroach,
Can't walk anymore
Because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
Marijuana to smoke."

I wish this song were true. If marijuana really kept the roaches from walking (and therefore NOT entering my apartment) I would go out and buy a few KILOS of it. (Haha, I'm only kidding mom!)

Victim #2

(and that isn't dirt on the floor...it's a stain that won't come up! haha, I promise my house is clean!) :)

This is the second roach I've found in our apartment. And you know what they say...for every roach you see there are 100's more hiding in your walls. AHHH!

You should have seen me killing it. Around 6:30 pm (it was already dark by then) I went into the kitchen. The light was already on, and I was shocked to see a roach right in the middle of the floor. (Roaches don't usually like light, and stay hidden until late at night when it's nice and dark.) I screamed, and it didn't move. Then I realized that my bug spray was in the utility room. The roach was blocking my entrance. I went into the bedroom and picked out a pair of Jose's nice heavy boots. (Jose asked me later why I needed a pair of shoes and not just one, haha. I'm not sure, I guess one could have worked just as well.) Anyway. I go into the kitchen with the two boots, and stand over the roach trying to get up the courage to smash it. I stood there for about 5 minutes trying to do it. Finally, I was about to do it, when the edge of the boot hit the box next to the roach and the roach ran towards me. I screamed. And started crying. I tried to call Jose. He didn't answer. And if he had answered, he probably would have told me I was being ridiculous and just kill the darn thing. So anyway. The roach eventually ran into the box. I saw my opening, and ran into the utility room for the spray. As I was coming out, I saw the roach crawling on the outside of the box. I sprayed like crazy. (Just so you can picture this...the spray is not in a can. It's in a bottle with a pump, so you have to push in the pump for the spray to come out.) So I'm pumping the spray like crazy, and it kept running! I ran into the living room, and it ran into the utility room. I followed it, still spraying like crazy. We went on like this for about 10 minutes. It would run and hide, and I would wait. When it came out again, I would spray it like crazy. Finally, I realized it was starting to die. It was trying to run around, but wasn't doing too well. I stood there and watched it twitch until it died. (A little morbid, I know. But I had to make sure it died!)

I left it in the floor to send a message to its friends and family. If you come into my apartment, you will die bitches! Hahaha.

Seriously though, I don't understand why we have roaches! I've done my best to keep them away. I clean all of the surfaces in the kitchen with bleach almost daily, and take great care to keep everything dry (they like moist areas) and crumb free. We keep almost all of our dry pantry goods in plastic containers or baggies to discourage them too. I have boric acid sprinkled in all the right places too (i.e., under the sink, around the appliances, in cracks/holes).

The only advice I can find online for preventing/controlling roaches come from companies/organizations in the US. I need some advice on how to combat these catracho roaches. So, Honduras, I need your help. Tell me what to do to keep these nasty creatures away!!

Vacuum, what is that?

Yesterday the carpenter was here redoing our closet. He made a big mess of sawdust, and asked me for a broom to clean it up. When I told him we didn't have a broom, he was shocked. And he kind of laughed. I think he thought I didn't know how to use one or something. I told him we didn't use brooms, that we had una aspiradora, or vacuum. His reaction to that word was similar to Jose's parents' maid when she was helping us clean before we moved in. She didn't know what una aspiradora was, and had never seen one. When I taught her how to use it, she was amazed. :) She looked at me with wide eyes and said, "But where does the dirt go??" I smiled, and said that it went into a bag inside the machine, and when the bag got full, all you had to do was throw it away and put in a new one. She then asked, "WHY doesn't Dona Marlene (Jose's mom) have one of these?!?!" Haha. I said that I didn't know why...but she should get one. Rosi (the maid) agreed.

I thought I had convinced her that my technology was better than her old ways (a triumphant win in an impossible battle with maids here), but the next day she came back with a broom.

gunshots and gangs

Jose and I were woken up two nights ago by a series of gunshots. It's not too rare to hear gunshots at all times of the day/night here. But these were close. It sounded like it was right outside the window. And there were like 7 or 8 in a row! I think they woke us both up at the same time. Jose grabbed my arm and asked if I heard it too. I asked if he thought it was in our building. He said no, that it was okay, that someone was probably just scaring away a robber. "Geez, thanks, that's reassuring," I was thinking. A little while later he closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Me, being the "First 48," "CSI," and "Law & Order" addict that I am, had to get up and investigate. I went into the living room, crawled to the window, and peeked outside. Nothing. Not even a car on the street. I watched for a little while, and after the dogs down the street stopped barking, went back to bed.

Yesterday, the cable guys were here hooking up the cable. I was sitting in the living room watching them work (you never know if they might slip something in their pockets). One of them was looking out the living room window and commented on the grafitti sprayed on one of the walls of the building next door. It says "Revolocos" on it. I asked him if he knew what it meant. He said yes, they are a "gang" for Motagua (a soccer team here). He explained that anyone that is a fan of Motagua could be a Revoloco, but some of them were crazy and very dangerous. They are the ones that stab people at soccer games and stuff. He said that they painted that on the wall to let people from the other team know that this is their territory. Great, I thought. I better remember to cheer for that team the next time...

I asked the guy if he knew any Revolocos. He said yes. And I got scared. Although I could hear the neighbors in the apartment next to us, I was still alone with these cable guys in the apartment. So I said, "Well, tell your friends not to get any ideas. I have a pistola and I know how to use it." They laughed. "No, seriously, I have one and I know how to shoot it." They just looked at me, and I felt a little safer knowing they thought I had a gun and would shoot an intruder.

I sent Jose a text message asking him to come home because I was starting to get nervous with the workers here. He came right home. When I told him what I had told the workers about my pistola (which isn't true, by the way) he said that probably wasn't a good idea. "If they DO try to rob us, Hannah, now they will definitely come armed."

Fabulous. I think it's time for me to get over my gun-fear and learn how to use one, for real.

blow in my hat

I really hope you appreciate the police and the technology in the US after reading this story....

Back in October, Jose and I were watching tv one night. I decided that I wanted some ice cream (a very frequent occurrence) and we decided to go to the drive-thru at Baskin Robbins.

We got our ice cream and we were headed back to the house when we were pulled over. The police officer came to the window and asked Jose to get out of the car. He did. The officer asked Jose if he had been drinking. Jose said no. The officer said he thought he was lying. Jose said, "Officer, I have not had a drop to drink. I am in pajamas and have ice cream cones in the car. We are just on our way home." The officer replied, "I don't believe you, blow in my hat."

?? Are you as confused as I was ??

Evidently, this is the equivalent of a breathalizer in Honduras. That's right. You blow in the officer's hat, and if he thinks he smells alcohol (or just wants a nice bribe) then you are drunk.

Jose blew in his hat, and the officer determined that he was, in fact, not drunk. Miraculously, he let us go without asking for a bribe. For the next few seconds, I repeatedly said, "BLOW IN MY HAT???? WHAT KIND OF LEGAL TEST IS THAT???" It took a few minutes to get over the shock.

As we headed back home, I told him, "Jose, I think your license plate is in the system. You are always getting pulled over for no reason." (He has gotten pulled over 3 or 4 times in the last 6 months.) He laughed. "What system??" he asked. "If my plate is in 'their system' it's just written on a piece of paper in their car." Appalled, I asked, "How do they dispatch other officers for help? How do they search to see if there are any warrants? HOW do they know the car isn't stolen if they can't check the plates?" He laughed again. "They don't."

And that is how it works in Honduras.

El Caliche

I was very excited this morning to find a sort of "slang dictionary" online for Honduran slang. It's at www.lapijineada.com. Click on the "El Caliche" link on the left. Fabulous! This should prove to be very useful. :)



I'm going back to Honduras on Saturday. Although I'm sad to leave the US again, I'm actually feeling a little homesick for Honduras and it's craziness. Shocking, right? :)

Married! *again*

I am such a bad blogger when I'm visiting back state side. There's just so much to do when I'm here, I can't seem to find the time or energy to blog. :) I've been going nonstop since before the wedding in Honduras. All of my hard work paid off though...I had my dream Christmas wedding on 12/20/08. :)

It was in the KY Room at the KY Museum on WKU's campus. This room has large portaits by/of famous Kentuckians all around, and has beautiful chandeliers and lots of old charm. :) With all of the Christmas trees and garland, it felt like we were getting married in someone's old house. I LOVED it! :)

So, Jose and I are done with all of our weddings. :) Now we just have to rush the lawyer in Honduras to finish filing the paperwork so it will actually be legal.

Next, we will begin the dreaded process of applying for Jose's US residency. *sigh* It never ends.